At a recent women’s network group, held by a well-known bank, I gave a talk on ‘Confidence and Women in the Workplace’. At the end of the talk I was asked, “can you be confident in everything”.
This is such a great and relevant question for us women in 2016. We have our own expectations of ‘having it all’ and have great expectations and pressure put upon us by society.
We’re expected to have the perfect bikini body, be eating a clean diet and producing home cooked food at every meal all the while being a director, owning a beautiful home and having the perfect relationship with everyone.
I don’t know about you but just thinking about all of that makes me feel tired and overwhelmed.
So, can we really be confident in everything and, more importantly, should we want or even need to be?
I personally don’t think we can be confident in everything and feel we shouldn’t aspire to it.
The day I feel that I’m confident in every aspect of my life is the day I need to give myself a stern talking to – because then I’ll know I’ve stopped trying to grow and learn and expand my comfort zone.
If you want to, you can acquire confidence in anything you set your mind to. But that first time you try something you’ll probably be nervous and your inner voice may well try to sabotage your success.
If you think about 5 things that you’re confident in now and think back to when you first did them – I bet you didn’t feel so self-assured about any of them then.
If I think back to the first time I interviewed someone, the first time I went for an interview, the first time I wrote a blog, sent my first tweet or did my first triathlon – I definitely wasn’t confident.
In fact far from!
However, I gave them all a go, thought about how I could improve and then learnt from that experience so that I’d do it better the next time.
Below are some tips to increase your confidence.
Tips to Increase Your Confidence
- Turn off the negative chatter. You may call it the gremlins or the inner voice. Whatever you call it everyone has one and it’s sabotaging your success. When yours arises tell it to “STOP” and repeat a positive affirmation such as “I can do this”.
- Set your goal. Be specific in what you want to achieve. I am always amazed when I sit down with clients, ask them what they’d like to achieve from their professional life and they say they don’t know. If you don’t know what you’re aiming for then how will you know the right steps to take to get there?
- Make an achievement list. Every Friday afternoon I sit down and write everything that I’ve achieved that week. It reminds me of how much I’ve managed to get done that week and puts me in a positive frame of mind for the weekend.
- Get an Executive Coach. I can’t recommend enough how much it helps having someone that will support you in overcoming what’s holding you back and achieve what you really want out of life.
- Step outside your comfort zone. Once a week do something that you feel uncomfortable with so that your comfort zone stretches. If you don’t like public speaking put yourself forward at work to do a presentation. Once you’ve completed it you’ll realize it wasn’t nearly as scary as you thought it would be.
- Ask for help. What ever you’re doing for the first time the chances are that someone has done it a hundred times. So ask them for any tips on how you can do it well.
I hope that you find these tips helpful. Please feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn.
Caroline Arnold
Executive Coach
M: 07886 794 742
T: @carnoldcoaching
E: info@carolinearnoldcoaching.com
F: Caroline Arnold Coaching